6th Grade - Editing And Revising Writing

Editing and revising writing
Revise writing to improve the organization and consistency of ideas within and between paragraphs.
Revise writing for organization and consistency.

Sample Problems


What does it mean to revise writing? (redo/change to make better)


Why does writing need to be revised?

(To make it clearer, more organized, more readable)


What does it mean to improve organization within a paragraph? (information should be in correct order, e.g. topic sentence in beginning, thesis statement at end, only one topic per paragraph)


What does it mean to improve consistency of ideas? (essay should stay on topic and keep a similar tone throughout)


What does it mean to improve organization between paragraphs? (Appropriate transitions should be used; ideas should flow logically)

Learning Tips


Revision questions for essays (from http://www.readwritethink.org/lesson_images/lesson800/RevisionGuides.pdf):

Looking at ideas and information (content)

Is there an identified topic and/or purpose?

Does the piece stay on topic?

Is the topic appropriate for the assignment?

How are the details? Are they adequate, necessary, relevant and related to

the paper’s purpose?

Is information accurate and consistent?

Are the sources listed? Are they reputable?

Are the ideas conveyed thoroughly and effectively?

Looking at clarity and flow of ideas (organization)

Is there coherence throughout the piece?

Does the piece have a logical order that meshes with the topic?

Can the reader pick out main ideas?

Are there transitions between ideas?

Looking at support and elaboration (reasoning)

Is the purpose stated for the audience?

Are there enough details provided? Are there too many details?

Did the writer make personal connections to the text?

Does the writer present any new information or insight into the topic?

Does the conclusion match with the elaboration provided? Is the conclusion

thought provoking?

Looking at language choice and usage (rhetoric)

Is the selected genre directly tied to the writing assignment?

Is the format appropriate to the piece?

Is there an awareness of the audience?

Is the voice consistent?

Is the voice appropriate to the piece?

Looking at conventions (standard written English)

Is the writing fluent?

Is the writing such that errors in sentence structure, grammar, punctuation,

and mechanics interfere with the comprehension of the text?

Is borrowed text cited appropriately?


How do I find things to fix in my writing? Try “A.R.R.R.” (from http://www.angelfire.com/wi/writingprocess/revising.html)

A.R.R.R. -  This method allows you to make four types of changes.


What else does the reader need to know?


Is the information in the most logical and most effective order?


What extra details or unnecessary bits of information are in this piece

of writing?


What words or details could be replaced by clearer or stronger expressions?


Read this student model in need of revision.

(1) The rise in the popularity of snowboarding, a sport that combines aspects of skiing, skateboarding, and surfing, has drawn a line down the middle of the ski slopes of America, with skiers swooshing down one side of the line and snowboarders flying down the other. (2) In the early years of the sport, snowboarding was prohibited at many ski resorts. (3) Today, about 97% of U.S. ski resorts are open to snowboarders. (4) There are still some resorts where snowboarding is not allowed.

(5) One problem skiers have with snowboarders is that they behave like skateboarders, complete with wild clothes and music that is more “modern” than the tastes of the typical (that is, older) skier. (6) Skiers say that beginning snowboarders are dangerous to those around them because they are not yet in control, which can result in crashes with skiers.


Which sentence would best be written as two separate sentences?

  1. Sentence 1*

  2. Sentence 6

  3. Sentence 2

  4. Sentence 4


What word would best join sentences 3 and 4?

  1. Because

  2. For example

  3. Although*

  4. Since


Write a sample of the new combined sentence using “although.”

(Sample: Although there are still some resorts where snowboarding is not allowed, today about 97% of U.S. ski resorts are open to snowboarders.)


This sample is in need of a third paragraph. Where should paragraph 3 begin?

  1. After sentence 1

  2. After sentence 5*

Extra Help Problems


1. These are two different people in two different worlds. One a celebrity, why? He’s seen around the world, mobbed wherever he goes, his every move is the paparazzi’s life.

2. The other a hero, why? He is selfless. He chose to walk down a different path in life, a path of hardships, poverty, and hunger.

3. Someone doesn’t have to be a superhero to be like this. He could be a five-year old giving up his allowance, or a person becoming a mentor, or someone’s grandma taking in a stray dog.

4. These are the everyday heroes.

5. A celebrity, on the other hand, is famous. Not for some humanitarian act but for acting. Acting is the art of becoming someone you aren’t. Just because you portray a hero doesn’t mean you become one.

6. An actor acts. A hero helps. The actor becomes famous and the hero does not. And that’s just it: heroes don’t care about the credit they just care.


What punctuation mark would most help this student’s expression? (semicolon)


Which paragraph needs two or more semicolons? (#6)


What is most missing from this essay? (examples)


What transition is used in this essay? (on the other hand)


How should “five-year old” be written? (five-year-old)


What word could be removed from the second sentence of par. 3 without changing the meaning? (or)


Rewrite this essay, incorporating the changes in #2-7 plus your own revisions.


Evaluate this informative essay and make revisions as necessary (essay from http://www.fwps.org/cur/targets/06/samples5.html) (needs better introduction and more paragraphs; some words unnecessarily capitalized/put in quotes)


   Egyptians believed in life after death. For this reason, the Egyptians developed their complex mummification process. They believed that everyone had a soul which they called the "BA" and the "Ka". It was believed that the "BA" had the head of a human and the body of a bird. The "Ka" was the twin of every person. The "BA" and the "Ka" believed that they were released from the body at the time after death. In order for the "BA" and the "Ka" to rest at night, the body could not be allowed to decay. In other words, the Egyptians believed that in order for the person to live for eternity after death, they had to preserve the body. The process of mummification was invented to preserve the body indefinitely. Mummification was reserved for the Pharaohs and nobles exclusively. Royalty was mummified because they believed that after death they became gods and wanted their bodies to rule for all eternity. The destiny of ordinary people was much different. When ordinary people died, they were simply buried in desert sand. This preserved them naturally, but not indefinitely.

The mummification ritual was performed by four priests. One of the four priests was dressed up as the Jackal Headed God, Anubis. The inner organs of the dead person were removed first, since this part began to decay immediately in the intense Egyptian heat. Next, the Priests removed the brain through the nose. The brain was discarded because they did not know what it was used for. The remaining organs were then put into decorated containers called Canopic Jars. A special salt called Natron was added to the jars to preserve the organs. Sometimes the heart was left in the body, or it was replaced by a carved stone called a Scarab. Linen cloth was put in the spaces were the organs were missing. Finally, the Priests covered the body with natron and let it dry for about forty days. The nostrils were then stuffed with wax. The body was wrapped, decorated, and ceremoniously placed in the tomb.


Practice using some of these transition words in your revision.

To Add:

and, again, and then, besides, equally important, finally, further, furthermore, nor, too, next, lastly, what's more, moreover, in addition, first (second, etc.)

To Compare:

whereas, but, yet, on the other hand, however, nevertheless, on the contrary, by comparison, where, compared to, up against, balanced against, vis a vis, but, although, conversely, meanwhile, after all, in contrast, although this may be true

To Prove:

because, for, since, for the same reason, obviously, evidently, furthermore, moreover, besides, indeed, in fact, in addition, in any case, that is

To Show Exception:

yet, still, however, nevertheless, in spite of, despite, of course, once in a while, sometimes

To Show Time:

immediately, thereafter, soon, after a few hours, finally, then, later, previously, formerly, first (second, etc.), next, and then

To Repeat:

in brief, as I have said, as I have noted, as has been noted

To Emphasize:

definitely, extremely, obviously, in fact, indeed, in any case, absolutely, positively, naturally, surprisingly, always, forever, perennially, eternally, never, emphatically, unquestionably, without a doubt, certainly, undeniably, without reservation

To Show Sequence:

first, second, third, and so forth. A, B, C, and so forth. next, then, following this, at this time, now, at this point, after, afterward, subsequently, finally, consequently, previously, before this, simultaneously, concurrently, thus, therefore, hence, next, and then, soon

To Give an Example:

for example, for instance, in this case, in another case, on this occasion, in this situation, take the case of, to demonstrate, to illustrate, as an illustration, to illustrate

To Summarize or Conclude:

in brief, on the whole, summing up, to conclude, in conclusion, as I have shown, as I have said, hence, therefore, accordingly, thus, as a result, consequently, on the whole


What is A.R.R.R.?


How is revision different from editing?

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